Disconnection with the soul
If all you desired is what your soul desired, everything would be very simple. If you listened to the part of you which is pure spirit, all of your decisions would be easy and all the outcomes joyous.
Neale Donald Walsch, Conversation with God, tome 3, chapter 1.
My first real interesting experience with Hydrogenium was with a woman who is in treatment since eight years and went through all the different layers with much benefit. She was of great value for the development of the different layers, because she experienced every layer in a very clear way and is able to express it in well chosen words. She is able to connect the essence of all the layers and to translate her feelings, impressions and insights verbally. Many years since the development of Inspiring Homeopathy I had Hydrogenium in my mind as remedy for the seventh layer. Hydrogenium is the basic element of our universe with one proton and one electron. Eighty percent of the universe is the element Hydrogenium. And the fusion of Hydrogenium procures us all the other elements. It is the basic constructive element. So it expresses the oneness and all different expressions in the universe can be reduced to that oneness, to the element Hydrogenium. But clearly the time for the seventh layer was not opportune for many years, it just didn’t happen. And such a process can not be forced, it happens or it doesn’t happen. My energy and what happens in my practice have to be in phase with the cosmic energy and then it will happen without effort, ‘going with the stream’. Just intellectual thinking or doing provings is not enough.
The moment that was the starting point of the development of Hydrogenium was quite exceptional. First the information of the lady mentioned above came to me some days before the 9th of November 2003. After this information I started to write on Hydrogenium and it just happened and the information flew spontaneously. I was writing the whole weekend. It was very exciting. I was aware that the 9th of November was a very special moment and that humanity was passing a gate of consciousness. So I looked the lunar eclipse and passed the special hour 2.13 a.m. in meditation. I felt a strong impulse to take Hydrogenium at that very moment. Later I learned that Hydrogenium corresponded exactly with the comic energy of that very moment. With other words Hydrogenium is activating this process of unification with the Center, the Soul, that means the recognition and awareness that we are all One, and the integration of this energy at the cellular plane. The Hydrogenium 200K I took had exactly this effect on me. I felt it worked in my physical body on the cellular level, especially in my lungs and nose, which are my weak organs. During the night I received a lot of information about Hydrogenium which I didn’t remember in the morning, but which I felt was integrated in my consciousness. It lasted for ten days. Two weeks alter I received an email of a German colleague asking if the last layer was already finished, because the cosmic time was there and she gave me a nice website (in German) where a lot of information about the 9th of November was presented. Reading this information I was astonished about this coincidence.
Let’s return now to the case I started with above. I have to confess that the indications in this case for Hydrogenium were not very strong; it was more a logical step in her process after she got through all the other layers with much benefit. I have read more beautiful cases in the past indicating Hydrogenium. Her feeling was at that moment: “It is enough, I feel as if the world is against me”. She had a lot of thoughts concerning death, a hopeless feeling, but not depressive. She longed for her retirement, having to perform and work was a burden. I prescribed her Hydrogenium 30K, once a week. Three month later she felt much better. She asked the cosmos for help and it worked, she said. Her thoughts about death had disappeared and she felt attracted to the world again by her work. Asked about her feeling toward Hydrogenium she said: “I have my place here on earth as everything around me has his place. I feel more connected, less lonely, even being often alone.’ Again three month later on the 200K she expressed herself as follows: “What a nice remedy! I feel lively and related to everything. I feel accepted even with my stupid things. It doesn’t matter. I respect my own frontiers and at the same time I feel a lot. The feeling of loneliness is completely gone. I feel lively and concerned. Then the MK every 3 weeks is a cold shower for her. With the 200K she felt so connected with everything and now, even after 6 months of MK, there is a lot of anger in her. She wakes up hearing herself scold internally on herself, the world, everything. It is as if it has been there always. She is dreaming that somebody tries to murder her, but she doesn’t experience it as a nightmare. She feels as if she is at the point where she has to take the decision to connect with everything, but that in reality she never took that decision. Her mother plays again an important role in all this. Her mother wanted her to be different from who she really was or there was no place for her. Now she experiences distance to other people and is disconnected. Her mood is quite changeable and she becomes sometimes furious as if she has no brakes. What happens? Is the remedy inappropriate and losing its action as she now takes higher potencies as happens sometimes. The higher the potencies the smaller the scope. That would be a big misinterpretation in this case. For me it is clear that she arrives at a very decisive energy that has to be cleaned before she will be able to experience the connectedness at a deeper level than she did when she was taking the 200K. Sure, there is resistance; she told me that she had the tendency to postpone taking her remedy. So I encouraged her to continue to take the MK, even more often, but that she was free to do so. Myself I had to times strong physical aggravations on Hydrogenium and one time I really went to the limit, something I never would have done with one of my patients. But I felt I had to go through it and not suppress it with suppressive and symptomatic drugs. These are clearly healing crises and are not always easily to understand. This is not only happening with Hydrogenium but can happen with every deep acting remedy. We are prone to interpret an acute illness too often as just a crisis in the health of a patient that has to be overcome as soon as possible without realizing that sometimes a crucial process of healing is taken place. I remember that severe autistic child that was completely normal in his behavior after the detoxification of his vaccines and then he got diarrhea. I was on holiday just at that moment and a colleague prescribed a acute homeopathic remedy that didn’t work and then after 10 days of diarrhea she went to a regular doctor who prescribed Imodium to the child. The diarrhea stopped immediately but the next day his autistic behavior was back again.
Essence of Hydrogenium
The down to earth picture
Maybe the best description of the Hydrogenium state is the Paradise Lost state. In the astral world we are connected with everything, united with the whole and simply part of the whole. Then we are stepping out of this harmony and incarnating in the physical world, where duality is the rule and where we lose the consciousness that we are all One and connected with each other. The little baby can still partly be in this state of connection, but rather quickly he will get the paradise lost feeling. The challenge in this earthy life is not to stay in the consciousness of the Whole, but to accept fully the physical and material experience as part of the game. The ultimate purpose is to become conscious what oneness really is. To understand this profoundly I refer to the books of Neale Donald Walsch, Conversation with God, tome 1, 2 and 3 and all his later books. To become conscious of LOVE we have to experience NON-LOVE, to become conscious of the LIGHT we have to experience DARKNESS, because only the experience of darkness can give us the conscience of what is Light. This is also true for ONENESS. To become consciousness of what is Oneness we have to experience Non-Oneness, what is Separation or Duality. So the real Hydrogenium state is not the state feeling ONE with everything, but the experience of separation with the desire to experience again the Oneness, first with our Soul and then with all the other Souls and so with the Universal Soul. But the process goes necessarily through the experience and acceptation of our incarnation in this material world. Wanting to avoid this experience by trying to stay in the Oneness is refusing the experience to become conscious. It is like wanting to dry you body with a towel before you have taken the bath. For me Hydrogenium is not a birth state remedy, but the state of a soul that has gone through the challenges of fully incarnation (Lac maternum), experience of ego (as separated from the whole) (Carcinosinum/Cuprum) and of the state of non-love (Saccharum), has played the fight of friend and enemy, defeat, victimization, oppression and victory (Rhus-tox. and Anacardium) and who has a strong desire after having experienced and resolved all these experiences of separation to connect again to the Oneness with full Consciousness. Then Hydrogenium has to be given as a last remedy after all the others and is in some way the crown on the work for the courage we had to live our life and to become conscious. Hydrogenium will not take us out of the reality of this physical world but make us more conscious of the connection with our own soul and with the whole as in the above case. So to say there is a logical sequence respecting the game of the cosmos. In this consciousness the physical world in which we live here on earth is equally part of the cosmos as is the astral world. There is no exclusion only inclusion. I have to emphasize here that being healed by Hydrogenium doesn’t mean that we constantly experience the oneness, surely not. As long as we live in this physical body we will experience duality and the exalted Hydrogenium state is not the state we should look for. It is a state of misbalance in which we are not longer capable to live our life harmoniously; we become psychotic and inapt at this life.
The exalted picture
There is another Hydrogenium state which is caused by the refusal to accept the experience of this material world and to try by all means to get out of the material world and to connect with the One again as quick as possible. Then physical life is a burden and has to be avoided as much as possible. No sex, no pleasure of the table, no beautiful clothes, no possessions, no sin, just meditation as a way to join the One as soon as possible. I am not criticizing this way of life; as human beings with a clouded consciousness we cannot completely go to the bottom of the mystery of life. And every experience in this world whatever it is, serves the Whole in growth of consciousness. So every way of life deserves respect, even if we think we should never make that choice, which is probably a delusion. But focus mainly on the non-physical state, even without refusing the physical experience, can create also a Hydrogenium state in which we lose control over the physical reality. In these cases Hydrogenium will also restore the balance between physical and non physical life and not promote just one. The first case I ever heard was on the Professional Case Conference 1994 in Seattle, USA, organized by the IFH. Steve Olsen, ND from Canada, presented a very interesting case of paranoid schizophrenia. The description of this case is as follows: “This 45 year old man spends many hours, weeks and months in meditation, reading esoteric literature and thinking about how to make positive and creative solutions in his life and the lives of others. Then there is a breakthrough, his mind makes a connection with the supreme life force. Here he finds eternal truths, revelations and excitements about the possibilities before him. (…)” Steve’s comments: “Along the path to complete his mission something goes wrong, there are distortions in perception, the information does not integrate into the real world; the ego gets too inflated and past conflicts that are not resolved come to the surface. Ultimately the state of higher consciousness becomes too much to handle.“ Steve makes some interesting remarks concerning this case: “This is an experience perhaps that many people are trying to achieve; i.e. that of transcendence from the physical boundaries and into the mystical spiritual realms. (…) In this case I believe the desire to develop the capacity to unite with the “source of all things” was premature and led to a certain type of imbalance, distortion and breakdown. As one author puts it: “The road to enlightenment is littered with the wrecks of souls that were not ready for the powerful forces that are generated from such action. This is a diseased state because he no longer had any choice over his thoughts and actions.”[1] Hydrogenium 200K brought him back to earth and he recovered nicely. I had a similar case of maniacal psychosis which occurred also after long and intensive meditation. He could be saved from the psychiatric hospital with Hydrogenium 30K. The patient recovered completely, but was on the edge of the abyss.
Jan Scholten’s vision
Reading what Jan Scholten has written on Hydrogenium in his book Homeopathy and the Elements I feel a lot of confusion in his description. I strongly believe if we don’t make a distinction between both conditions as described above and put all the symptoms together, the whole picture will be very contradictory and lead to many wrong prescriptions if there is no deep understanding of the case. The real Hydrogenium state at the base of both pictures is characterized by a strong feeling of having lost the connection with the Oneness. Jan is saying that they feel connected with the world and everybody, that they feel love for everything, all creatures and all what exists with a strong feeling to merge with other people, be very erotic and live in symbiosis. If this state is not the excited state but still completely connected with this material world it resembles more a cured than a diseased state of Hydrogenium. We should not confuse the desire for oneness with the experience of oneness. It seems to me also that he gives symptoms that I would class under Lac maternum and Vernix caseosa; the case he gives is a good example of this mixture.
Proving of Hydrogenium
It is also interesting to look at the homeopathic proving of Hydrogenium by the Dynamis School of Jeremy Sherr.10 There were 18 provers and the 6CH, 9CH, 12CH, 15CH, 30CH and 200CH were proved. There is no synthesis of the symptoms or an attempt to come to certain conclusions to understand what the picture of Hydrogenium looks like. There is just mentioning of symptoms and a translation to repertory rubrics. All these symptoms are in the Radar Repertory now, 1397 rubrics and maybe more because I have a quite old edition of Radar. The question is nevertheless if this can help us to understand a Hydrogenium case or to find this remedy. So I tried it out and put the symptoms that Steve mentioned in his case, 10 rubrics, (Haughty, Egotism, Theorizing, Abstraction of mind, and 5 delusions: He is a great person, Being enlarged, Being in communication with God, He possesses infinite knowledge, is a superhuman.) Hydrogenium is on the 128th place with four symptoms. Favoring the small remedies it is on the 13th place. If we add all the mental symptoms (50) listed by Steve later on Hydrogenium arrives at the 45th place and at the 46 place if we favor the small remedies. For the discussion on provings I refer to the chapter in the beginning of this book called What is proving a proving?, published also in the Homeopathic Links 1/99. The fundamental question is if the addition of all the so called Hydrogenium symptoms is helping us to prescribe this remedy or is it just blurring our materia medica and our repertory?
Interesting in this proving is that the Dynamis School has now classified symptoms as curative, which enables to avoid a lot of confusion and wrong symptoms in the materia medica of the proved remedy. In my understanding of Hydrogenium this classification should have been applied much more frequently. Some examples of symptoms that should be classified as curative in my opinion are: improved memory; more charitable and sympathetic than usual; feel relaxed and calm; felt strong, positive and adventurous; felt less impatient, hurried and irritable; felt more in touch with people, more sympathetic to the rest of the world, feel more understanding, etc. But sometimes it is difficult to distinguish, because of the two different states of Hydrogenium. Sometimes it is difficult also what is the diseased state and what is the enlightened state. As one prover expresses it so nicely: “There is a very fine line between enlightenment and insanity – a split conscious. (…) I guess the price of going into the heavens is a trip to hell.”